The Song: Breaking the Girl by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
Hi, I’m Mike.
I don’t know if you remember this, but you used to like me. You
used to think I was fun, funny, or funny looking; you used to think some of that
or all of that. You used to think I was weird. You used to think I was quirky.
You used to think I think I was eccentric. But there is a fine line between
eccentric and loathing. And that line is defined by Matthew Sweet and his song
“Girlfriend”.
As much as I would love to blame the DJs of the world for SoS failures, I suppose I must
take this on the chin. As far as I know, there were only three people in the
known universe who heard The Song last summer. I never called them out into the
public eye, but here are your 2010 Song of the Summer
Champions:
1.
Lauren
Raske. Why do we like her? Because she spins fire
around her fingers like a lifeguard spins a whistle. They both keep you alive,
but she’s decidedly more dangerous.
2.
Michael
Roache: more on Mike here in a moment.
3.
Lynda
Arnold: aka the only person who heard the Song last year who had played the
competition previously. Aka one of the Official Cousins of the Song of the Summer. Lynda also decided to become engaged to one of her
2010 tri-champions (that would be Michael). I can only assume that she was
looking to consolidate her claim to the 2010 title. Good move. Michael’s
motivation has left the rest of the Arnold clan scratching our collective
head’s. Good luck my friend. Good luck.
These three people each heard the Song once (uno).
This has left the Song of the Summer populace
demanding to know “Where’s the Song!” as if they were denizens of River City
and had just shelled out slow cash for band uniforms and instruments. And
unfortunately, ‘thinking’ you heard the Song does not count for actually
hearing the Song.
At this point, I’ve already lost all but the most ardent of Song
of the Summer (SoS)
supporters. However, if you are still around what we are talking about is a
contest. A radio contest. It is a contest where you
need to hear one Song more than any other participant. It happens during the
summertime, which is why we call it the Song of the Summer
contest. You have been invited to join in the fun. Please join in the fun. And
everyone else is here to find out what this year’s song might be. I’m getting
to that.
And I’ve gotten to it. I didn’t want to. I had more to say. But
I’ve gotten too anxious. So here is my thought process: You hated last year’s
song. (I don’t.) You want vengeance; you want destruction; you want to break
something. You have your opportunity. For in the summer of 2011 the citizens of
SoS nation will be rooting
for “Breaking the Girl” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. For those of you skimming
through the email:
2011 Song of the Summer:
“Breaking the Girl” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
Once again this is a song that I chose during the previous summer.
It is another song that has been considered for a few years. I hope we all
tally a few more listens than last year’s though. Speaking of which…
I gave some serious consideration to falling back into the warm
embrace of classic rock*. I tried. I fired up the YouTube and loaded in the
usual suspects. The songs are known; the songs are good; the songs also never
seem to be picked. You want to know why?
*Here’s why: What the hell is
classic rock? When’s the last time you heard a Chuck Berry tune on a “Classic”
rock station. Why can’t I make “Maybelline” the Song? Answer me that.
But I have more important things to discuss: The Rules. The Song
of the Summer is a contest and every good** contest
must have rules. The rules boil down to this:
·
The Entirety Rule: You must hear the Song in its Entirety. From
first note played until the last note.
·
The Random Rule: You must not have prior knowledge of the Song
coming up in the queue.
·
The Season: The Song of the Summer
officially starts at 5pm on the Friday before Memorial Day and end at midnight
on Labor Day (going into Tuesday).
·
The Radio: You need*** to hear the Song on the Radio.
**Good?
***Historically, the SoS
has been a Radio only contest. History will be happy because the Song of the Summer is still a radio only contest. However, these are
different times than 1994. So, for 2011 we are introducing the:
·
Wooden Bat Division: In the Wooden Bat Division you will may only hear the Song on
the Radio; terrestrial Radio. Streaming 93.3fm does not count. You need a
radio. It needs to have an antenna. It is the Wooden Bat Division.
·
Performance Enhancing
Division: In the Performance
Enhancing Division you can listen to streaming radio, digital radio, internet
radio, etc. What all counts? I’m not sure. Sometimes you just have to ask. But
if there is a DJ involved, then I image that it counts. The Random Rule &
the Entirety Rule still apply.
It really is pretty simple: hear the Song. Count it. It is worth a
point. But how else can I score? Fortunately for all you extra credit
overachievers out there, you also have the opportunity to get the Legacy Bonus.
In order to get the Legacy Bonus you need to hear this year’s song and every
previous Song. Those songs are:
2010 "Girlfriend" - Matthew Sweet
2009 “Clocks” – Coldplay
2008 "American Girl" – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
2007 "Me & Bobby McGee" – Janis Joplin
2006 "I Love Rock 'N Roll" – Joan Jett & the
Blackhearts
2005 "Paint It, Black" – The Rolling Stones
2004 "Sultans of Swing" – Dire Straits
2003 "Even Flow" – Pearl Jam
2002 "Pour Some Sugar On Me" –
Def Leppard
2001 "Solsbury Hill" – Peter
Gabriel
2000 "Summertime" – DJ Jazzy
Jeff & The Fresh Prince
1999 "Paradise City" – Guns 'n Roses
1998 "End Of the
World as We Know It" – R.E.M.
1997 "Pride and Joy" – Stevie Ray Vaughn
1996 "Crazy On You" – Heart
1995 "Don't Fear the Reaper" – Blue Oyster Cult
1994 "Lola" – Kinks
If you hear all of those songs, it is worth 15 million points.
Well, maybe it should be but it will actually be worth 7.2 points this year.
And that is just about all there is to it. Tune in on Friday. Get excited
whenever you hear the Chili Peppers. Get excited to listen to summertime music.
Look out for official SoS
scoreboards.
As always, I enjoy the opportunity to say hello this time of year.
I hope you are all doing well. If you are looking for me, you can find me* on
the east side of Providence, RI.
*note: I’m actually in
Greenfield, MA at the moment
The Song of the Summer has upcoming
user/player/advocate conferences in Baltimore, Newark, Pittsburgh, New York
City, Wilmington, and Chicago. More conferences are likely to appear. Please
make sure you register for your conference as soon as possible.
Have a great summer. Hope you are well. Feel free to entertain me
with the details.
Mike Lennon