Stephen: You're Still Waiting

On Sunday morning Ed* & I take a quick trip down to Einstein Brother's to grab breakfast sandwiches. It wasn't Einstein's greatest moment in efficiency. It was an absolute chaotic mess.

*Mike's neighbor in Houston, Texas

We wind up waiting for 20 minutes to get our sandwiches. Making matters more interesting, there was also the challenge of entertaining Ed's 2yr old* son for this duration.

*Like every other 2yr old on the planet Ed's son knows three emotions: complete happines; complete meltdown tantrum; and the transitional space between these two dichotomies. And like all 2yr olds he only occupies that transitional space for 1.7 minutes at a time.

These certainties lead to fantastic entertainment possibilities, provided you are not the parent responsible. When the 2yr old is completely happy chances are he is doing something hilarious. That something hilarious is almost guaranteed to include behavior you have to curb as a parent. That curbing induces the 1.7-minute walk to complete meltdown tantrum. Again that's hilarious, provided you are not the parent.

We are not the only ones waiting for their food, naturally. The Einstein's staff was in utter disarray. They are shouting out orders and asking if anyone is waiting for a bagel. Why yes we all are. And they busily get back to work.

Establishments like this tend to always have an employee that is exerting an incredible about amount of energy, but seemingly isn't really helping the greater cause. Fortunately there was one such employee working today and I was having a blast watching her work. She'd run the length of the counter 3 times while making a sandwich and when it was made - it would sit there for at least 5 minutes*. She ran off elsewhere.

*I'm certain there is an uneaten bagel with lox and cream cheese waiting on that counter right now.

Occasionally she manages to actually fill the requirements of an order and then your name is shouted an impressive decibel level. "MIKE!" But currently she is continuing her intensely caloric activities when she yells:

"STEPHEN!!!"

Stephen is on his cell phone. He was on the phone when he ordered. He's still on the phone while he waits. He informs the other end of the conversation he needs a second: "Yes."

"You're Still Waiting!"

Huh? For some reason at the beginning or somewhere in the middle of preparing his food she decided he needed to know that he was still waiting.

"STEPHEN!!! ... ... You're still waiting!"

I lost it. I burst out in full giggle mode. Stephen didn't appreciate it very much: the statement of the obvious or my laughing. The customer to the left of me thought it was equally hilarious, but she had much more restraint & decorum than I. Turns out that Ed's son wasn't the only one with etiquette issues. But I was happy like a 2 year old. And I think I still am.