Song of the Summer: Boycott Organization through Google Status

We are boycotting Chick-Fil-A. Why? Coupon Distribution Disagreements & Disturbances. More specifically, the Bel Air, MD Chick-Fil-A coupon distributors disturbed the Official Dad of the Song of the Summer. Dad was in the hardware store getting himself a new garbage disposal. It appears the coupon distributors caused a traffic backup outside of the hardware store parking lot. And you know you have no time for coupons or grabassing when you are in the midst of a plumbing project. Plumbing is not a time for foolishness*. It's a time for cursing.

*I'm in Texas and the sports fans down here love the foolishness - also known as college football. Currently everyone is debating who should be the national champion. This quote from a Salon article sums up the arguments nicely & shows why Tulane should be the National Champion:

"The Green Wave went 2-10 this year, but they made those wins count. One of them was over Louisiana-Monroe, so I think you see my point. No? OK: Tulane beat Louisiana-Monroe, who beat Troy, who beat Middle Tennessee, who beat Maryland, who beat Wake Forest, who beat Mississippi. Aha! Mississippi! What do you mean, so what? Ole Miss beat Florida. But that's not all. The Rebels also beat Texas Tech, who beat Texas, who beat Oklahoma. There's a direct line of losing from both teams in the BCS Championship Game to Tulane. That's what makes Tulane, last seen losing 45-6 to Memphis, your 2008 national champion."

Fortunately we also have lots of time for foolishness. That's why we are here. And really, it is the primary reason you'll join the boycott. I found out about the boycott via Dad's Google Status (gStatus*). I asked for clarification and that's when I received the above story. Then I changed my gStatus to "joining the boycott". Next time you don't feel loved or need a chat buddy - use that gStatus. Lots of people will come a knocking.

*Do you have a Gmail account? IF Answer=YES THEN Goto NextParagraph ELSE Response="What's wrong with you? Are you still pining for Pine? Are you a masochist? Were you not breastfed? Go get a Gmail account now. Yes. Right now. You may proceed reading this post later.";

Pretty soon I found myself explaining the situation to all my gBuddies. And then all their gStatus started changing to "Chick-Fil-A ruins lives" & "Done. No Chick-Fil-A for me" & "Down with Traffic and Down with Chick-Fil-A". It was turning into a movement. And now we are here - you are currently* boycotting Chick-Fil-A.

*Unless you are reading this on your iPhone or Crackberry inside of a Chick-Fil-A. In that case walk straight up to the counter, gather everyone attention, and sing** "Please don't block my car with coupons. I don't want your chicken today." And then march straight on out. (Steal/borrow the melody from Harry Chapin's "30,000 Pounds of Bananas" - "Yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today."

**Boycott movements pretty much mandate singing. It's pretty much been that way ever since Alice's Restaurant.

Now you might be thinking, "but I like Chick-Fil-A". Too bad. I mean I'm not mandating you join the movement, but you really have little choice. It is too silly to argue with. Are you really prepared to miss out on this foolish of an opportunity this close to the New Year*? I would hope not.

*Tennis BADLY needs a new PR firm. Or maybe any PR firm. Let me explain: people have been recapping the year in sports and are pretty much in agreement that the 8 gold medal Phelps performance takes the cake. I say hogwash. The best moment of the year; the best whole day of the year, was the entire day** Nadal & Federer crushed tennis balls on the lawn at Wimbledon. The greatest tennis match of all time.

**It really did go on all day. And I was sad when it ended. I remember talking to my sister, who also watched the match, and she asked, "Now what I am supposed to do?" We had watched the same match for a whole day.

The reason this match stands out as the best moment of the year (and one of the best I have ever seen) is the incredibly high level of play both players exhibited in the match. Someone is always going to win the trophy, the medal, the championship, 'that ring' at the end of your event. But it is a rare treat to see two people play better than maybe anyone ever has - in the same match. That was this year's Wimbledon final. I still get happy every time I think about it.

Maybe I'm wrong about the 8 gold thing - that was pretty impressive & I was glued to the TV. I'll give you that. (Nope: I'm sticking with the Wimbledon Final.) But can you drop the rest of the so-called candidates**? We are talking about quite possibly (it is) the greatest tennis match ever played. Not this year. Ever.

**If you are not going to talk about tennis (and you should), can I at least stop hearing about: The Helmet Catch. In last year's Super Bowl a wide receiver (David Tyree) saves his team's hopes by catching a last-minute pass with one hand and his helmet. It was cool. It was impressive. The very next play the same receiver drops a very catchable pass. He tried his best - but the truth is that he's not that good. That was fortunate for the Giants, because if he had caught that next pass, time would have expired and the Patriots would have won. The helmet catch was fun. It was also very lucky. Luckier still that he can't actually catch with two hands.

The opinion that it is the greatest match ever played is not just mine - the tennis media (if there actually is such a thing) is in pretty much agreement over it. But there is nary a peep in the 2008 year-end articles. The greatest match ever and sports writers have largely forgotten about it? You have forgotten/never knew about it? Try getting the word out a little Tennis. Just a little.

Enjoy the foolishness. Enjoy the boycott. I bet Rafael & Roger don't eat Chick-Fil-A. And I bet Giants* wide receivers do.